Festivus With Asterisk

My friends and I celebrated Festivus, the Holiday for the Rest of Us this Saturday. 

For those of you who haven’t heard of Festivus, it’s a made-up-turned-official holiday started by the writers of Seinfeld, and it’s brilliant.

Festivus is a celebration featuring miracles, the airing of grievances, and a feat of strength, where the head of the household is wrestled to the ground in order to put an end the holiday.

∆∑ has been proudly celebrating Festivus since our sophomore year of college. Here is last year’s very best photo:

The "Festivus Pole" is another tradition.
It's an unadorned aluminum pole meant to foster the spirit of anti-consumerism.
...We didn't make this up, either. Also, in this picture we're in a fort.

For those who haven’t read my “about the author” blurb, ∆∑ is the most fabulous female founded fraternity in the continental United States (that’s code for a couple friends and I made up our own fraternity on the grounds that “boys have more fun”). The six core Delta Sigs are all ladies, but we’re a co-ed fraternity, and our numbers are continually rising. We’re definitely very inclusive.

And we definitely know how to celebrate.

This year might have been our best year yet.

See, here’s how life has gone lately:

The last couple of weeks have been not awful per say, but definitely… an experience.

For one, I’ve now officially used my free pass for not posting on the blog, and I’m now not sure if I’m supposed to post tonight or on Thursday thanks to Jazz’s cover. (I guess I’m posting now.)

For another, I’ve been going nuts all week, but I guess it’s better if I start at the beginning of this story.

So…

Two weeks ago, the five other officers of Delta Sigma and I made a pilgrimage down to Las Vegas for a “Fraternity Conference.”

Our Las Vegas trip was fantastic, but insanely overwhelming.

First off, I do not belong in a city with that many lights. Las Vegas is one giant flashy, gratuitous, eye catching, energy wasting black hole for money.

It’s amazing, don’t get me wrong, but it’s also the kind of place that makes one feel guilty about resource over-consumption for every sober moment spent there. *

*Moral of the story, don’t be sober in Las Vegas. Duh.

Second, Las Vegas is the most sexist city I’ve ever been to, and I didn’t care at all.

In Las Vegas, women are nothing more than bait. Large groups of pretty girls are allowed into clubs completely free, because large groups of pretty girls means that men will pay their way into clubs in order to buy drinks for said girls. (In hopes of, well, you know...)

Women are objects, and men are wallets.

It’s awful, and I should be outraged…

…but I got to go everywhere for free, so I can’t really complain.

For those of you who are interested, I have pictures:

Here we are on the shuttle at 5:00 in the morning, in our matching ∆∑ sweatshirts.

We took our role as "bait" pretty seriously.

The city at night.

Bathroom tours were a must. Hotels seriously spring for nice bathrooms to look at.

Coming back home after Las Vegas was actually a little painful.

For one, it’s dark at night here (although I like that).

For another, it’s very rainy and cold. There are no pools, and there is no sun.

Oh, and I find it difficult to care about anything. At first I thought this was a Las Vegas side-affect, but I’m starting to think it isn’t.

Yes, I checked out of school when we checked into the Stratosphere, but I think that would have been the case even if I’d stayed in my apartment for break.

My classes suck. (Except for painting.)

I don’t care.

I’m tired.

I’m apathetic.

I think I’m burnt out.

Buuuut I’m decently responsible, so I managed to pull through the last fourteen days and not neglect anything except for Girl Meets Worm in the week of final projects and tests.

After returning from Las Vegas, attempting to get back into the swing of things, and hating every minute of it, I got to:

-Take a test on the vocabulary used in Kenneth Burke’s Dramatism Theory.

-Design a geology lab for college freshmen, and present it to my lab class.

-Write a geology paper.

-Write a ten page paper about Environmental Ethics.

-Write three ten-to-twelve minute presentations, for three different classes.

-Write a fifteen page paper applying Kenneth Burke’s rhetorical theory.

-Work eight hours a week at my on-campus job.

-Complete my painting final (which took foooooorever due to an unfortunate “artist decision” involving some very bad ideas and a paint scraper).

…In addition to keeping up with the reading and the discussion in said classes, and somehow managing to feed myself.

It wasn’t pleasant.

But I survived!

I’m now looking forward to a week of finals. Yaaaay.

The rest of my friends feel about the same.

So, Festivus was exactly the thing we all needed.

Especially the miracles.

Festivus Miracles are described online as being ordinary events.

“Oh, I found my pen. It’s a Festivus Miracle!”

But we had some real ones:

-We had cake.

-We had cookies.

-We had party lights (basically Christmas lights, only better) shaped like margaritas for “ambiance.”

-I bought a shirt at goodwill that is made of sparkles, meaning I was a party all on my own.

-We had cake.

And we aired our grievances. Mine were the following:

-The lousy internet connection in The Penthouse (my apartment).

-Having to write an essay for every single class all in the same week.

-The mail center, for always sending you e-mails about how you have something to pick up after they close for the day.

-Clothes I can’t afford.

-Running out of food.

-Losing your pen while you’re trying to make a list.

-Not knowing where Scrappy is.

-Being the head of household.

Then I was tackled to the floor.

It was an absolutely lovely event, and exactly what I needed...

…but now I’m ready to go home for Winter Break.

I haven’t been home for more than four days at a time in an entire year, and I hate it.

I miss my house, my room, my own bed (screw these lousy college mattresses), my family, my yard, the mountains, and even the crappy little town.

I'm dreaming of being here. Although I could do without the snow...

So on Saturday, I’m packing up my adjectives and getting the hell out of here!

Winter Break, here I come… assuming I survive my geology final. *

*Who knew ground water was so complicated?

Until next time,

~Asterisk