Asterisk Scribbles Down Some Advice for Her Younger Sibling

So, my little brother is a college freshman this year. Whoa.

It's crazy to imagine that my kid sibling is all kinds of old now, but I'm super proud of him for going off to forge his own path in the world. (And to become an aerospace engineer, nonetheless. What a champ!)

That said, all this moving in has triggered yet another round of nostalgia, and some deep-down sisterly feelings where I want to help out my lil' bro.

Therefore, I have gathered the Top 12 Most Important Things a Freshman Should Know:

1. Don’t sell your books if you think you might need them again. Also, don’t ever lend a book that you could sell back to a friend under the impression that you could sell it back the following semester/quarter/whatever, because Murphy’s law of books is that as soon as you pass up a chance to sell back a book, they order a new addition for the quarter after that. Instead, offer to sell your book to the friend for half the price you bought it for. That’s more than you’ll get from selling it back, and a really good deal for whoever you’re selling the book to.
2. DO NOT EVER USE BLUE HIGHLIGHTER. It mega sucks, because it will bleed through your pages.
3. Find a study group. It might seem easier to study on your own so you don’t have to make time commitments, but when you’re studying at 1:00 in the morning, having other people there is the best thing in the world. Also, make sure there are a few girls in your study group, because for some reason girls are pretty likely to bring food to share. Sometimes they even bake it themselves
4. Never pass up free food. Ever. Seriously, if there are club meetings that advertise free food, go to those meetings--for the food. Nothing is more satisfying than taking pizza from the Young Republicans Club. After the food runs out, high tail it out of there, though, because you don’t want to be seen by respectable members of society at a Young Republicans meeting. Gross.
5. Learn how to prioritize your schoolwork and your social life. School is important, but being social should win more than you think, otherwise you'll be stressed out and lonely. That said, don't completely forget about school, either. Don't worry about sleeping, you can sleep when you're dead. 
6. Never drink beer and then immediately do shots. There’s a rhyme “Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear. Beer before liquor, never been sicker.” Stick to it. 
7. Never, ever, ever drink the beer out of the cup in beer pong unless there’s a cleaning dish for the ping-pong ball. A wet ping-pong ball rolling around the filthy floor of a freshman dorm and then falling into a cup that you’re drinking out of is a one-way ticket to gonorrhea. If the people you’re playing with don’t have a cleaning cup, get one. If they make fun of you, they’re n00bz, and will probably get gonorrhea soon. 
8. Keep in mind that you never, ever have to do anything that you don’t want to do. Nobody will judge you for not drinking or whatever, and if they do, they’re n00bz and will probably get gonorrhea soon (just kidding). 
9. Don't kiss anyone with an exposed cold sore. You don't want that shit on your face. (Once it's gone, go for it, though. Anyone worth kissing will be around later anyway.)
10. Leave your door open when you're home--people will know you're down to hang out, and you'll make friends. If your hall sucks, find a friend in another hall and hang out there. Some of your best friends will probably end up being people you shared a dorm space with. 
11. Find a cheap Mexican food place. Trust me.
12. Most importantly, don’t be stupid. Just pay attention to your surroundings, make sure you know who you’re with, and don’t take shit from anybody. 

Good luck little brother! You got this down, I believe in you. 

~Asterisk