Jazz Consumes the World, Part 2

I'd like to talk about two food experiences today: burgers and buffets.

When Gandalf and I visited Asterisk this summer, we barbecued. Actually, Gandalf barbecued, because she is awesome at that sort of thing, and Asterisk and I did the prep work. The final result was this amazing creation:




What you're looking at there is (from the bottom up) avocado, burger, three slices of cheddar, sauteed onions and mushrooms, lettuce, tomatoes, and more avocado. It could only be held together by driving a knife through the middle, it was dangerously close to the size of my head, and it was delicious. I ate the whole thing with chips and rejoiced in being young enough that eating this burger was not particularly bad for my health. I hold firmly to the belief that the best burgers are the ones you make yourself, mostly because then I can put on exactly what I want.

The other food journey I'd like to mention is my semi-recent discovery of Chinese food buffets. Why was I never told about these? Again, proof that too much of a good thing is a delicious thing.

My mother is a chef, so when I was a kid, I was exposed to fancy food and grew up with pretty discerning tastes. We never went to a buffet that I can remember. So when I moved out and went to college, I had never really had the buffet experience and was biased against them. It took Gandalf (my awesome cool roommate and friend) a good six months to convince me to try a buffet with her, and unfortunately, we went to the Old Country Buffet in the mall during an off-time. It was not very tasty, and it took her doggedly pestering for another few months before I would try another buffet.

This time, we went to a Chinese food buffet.

Best. Decision. Ever.

The hunter-gatherer part of me loves the bountiful array of food that I can pick from, arranged in a steamy line. I can have whatever I like in whatever quantity. I feel like a free-range chicken and it is a singularly fun feeling. I always follow this pattern:

• Plate 1: Go along the line, adding dishes that look delicious until my plate is full. I always have egg drop soup at this time as well.
• Plate 2: Get all the dishes I didn't get the first time around, maybe having a few over again.
• Plate 3: Salad, sushi, and repeats of my absolute favorites.
• Plate 4: Dessert. Soft-serve ice cream, hot fried donuts coated in sugar, and canned fruit.

I leave incredibly full and happy. But buffets are tricky. To maximize the trip, I've developed a few rules.

• Only go at peak times, between 5:00 and 7:00. The more people are in the restaurant, the more they rotate the food, which means the food is fresher and hotter and more delicious.
• Go when you're really freaking hungry. You don't get your money's worth if you only eat one plate. When I go to a buffet, it's usually my only meal of the day. Believe me, you get the right amount of calories.
  
• Don't get a soda. They charge extra, and soda fills you up, meaning you can eat less delicious food. Tea and water are free, and let you fill up on all those tasty fried foods.
• If a tray is less than half full, don't eat the food in it. More than likely it's lukewarm, and if the food was fried, soggy. Wait until they cycle the dish, and you will be much happier.
• Leave a tip. Not a huge one, because no one technically waited on you, but someone did have to clear your plates and get you drinks. If you go back a few times, the people working there will be nicer to you. Plus, come on. I'm cheap, but leaving a dollar is not that bad.

So, armed with this knowledge, go forth and overconsume! It's fun every once and while.