In Defense of Professional Wrestling

I have a small confession to make: I love watching pro wrestling.

I started watching it with my friend, Gandalf (also of the female persuasion), in high school. At first, I was skeptical, and on my liberal-minded high horse about the objectification of women and glorification of violence. But she made me watch it.

And dammit, I liked it. A lot.

Yes, it's violent. Yes, the women's costumes are horribly skimpy and they're really only there because they're hot. I know this, and I enjoy watching it anyways.

You know why? Because I love theater. The part of me that rejoices when I see a proscenium stage, a really cool lighting effect, and choreographed dancing also rejoices when I see a ring, fog machines, and choreographed fighting. The truth is: professional wrestling is just a soap opera, only with a little less plot and a little more spandex.

One of my favorite wrestlers, Rey Mysterio, is a high-flyer. He does acrobatic tricks off the ropes, and it's freaking awesome to watch! The Undertaker wears a full trench coat and hat and one time he came into the ring in a coffin that spewed fog all over the ring. All the fights are pre-determined and work into a long, sordid plot line. This video gives one plot line that I found ridiculous and entertaining:



Vickie is in a wheelchair for most of the episodes, but sometimes, when it's convenient to move things along, she just gets up and walks around. I've never seen it explained. But it's a good example of how silly the whole thing is. There's rival families, there's marriage, there's betrayal, there's competition, there's sex. If they were dressed in togas, it would be a Greek drama. A pretty poorly written one, granted, but basically the same.

As for the violence, I found it much better once I looked at it like a stage fight. They know what they're doing. In some shots, you can see the wrestler stomping on the ground to make the punching noise. They have blood capsules. And besides, some of the positions they end up in are undeniably homoerotic. Middle America has to get it out of their systems somehow.

The women in the show (they're called Divas) hardly wear anything, yeah. But after a while I realized, neither do the men. Actually, some of them wear less than the women do. While it's true that the women are there for the sex appeal, they're also there to fight. They have their own tournaments, and the fights are good. All of the wrestlers are athletic and good at stage fighting and (to a lesser degree) acting, or they wouldn't have a job. The Divas aren't plastic bimbos.

So, next time you're bored and maybe a little inebriated, try watching wrestling for a bit. You might like the average man's theater. I do.

- Jazz