2011 Recap (7.5 out of 11 isn't bad, right?)

So, for our longtime readers, you may remember last December when I posted a "hypothetically true" list (which is a silly title, now that I rethink it) of things that I could do and wanted to do in 2011. Basically, it was a list of New Year's resolutions that I decided to call something else for some po-mo reason.

So, at the start of 2012, let's take this time to poke fun at myself and see how I did.

1. Dye my hair at least one more unnatural color (green, pink, blue, whatever).  

Woah yeah I did so well with this one. At my last count, I dyed my hair somewhere around seventeen different colors, encompassing blue, purple, green, orange, pink, red, teal, and different combinations thereof. A few weeks ago, with purple, white, and green hair, I finally went to a salon and got my hair professionally dyed brown again. She had to dye it twice. I figure a year of bleaches and colors is about as much as I can subject my hair to without violating statutes against hair cruelty.

Brown hair, don't care.

2. Learn to lindy hop and learn some acro swing, get decent at salsa, and try blues dancing.

Well, to be honest, I still kind of suck at lindy. I can follow it if I have to, but I'm not great. Technically, I did get better than last year, but I'm not gonna go looking for accolades on that one.

And funny story on that "acro swing" idea. Guess who got a concussion? This girl. Someone, not naming names here but his starts with a J and ends with damnit honey, may have dropped me during a swing lift last winter. And I may have ended up with a nearly broken tailbone and a concussion, which left me with periodic twinges in my tailbone when I walk too far and a proclivity for extreme nausea when my center of balance is disturbed. (Say, in carnival rides, as I discovered when visiting my dad. On a side note, throwing up on the ride home is perhaps not the best way to say "Hey, haven't seen ya in a while, miss me?" to one's father.)

However, I did get good at some acro blues, which involves a lot more of staying nice and safely close to the ground. And speaking of blues, not only did I try it, but I love the hell out of it. Screw swing, blues is where it's at. Sexy, slow, and insanely graceful when done right.

This is perhaps not the most graceful example, but silly blues is also super fun.

(I didn't go to salsa once. I'm a dirty dirty liar. Maybe I'll go this year. I have a good dress for it.)

3. Explore.

Well this was a delightfully vague one. So, yeah, I guess I did! I mean, I went to Spain, which is a pretty literal interpretation of the idea. That was a bit of new experience, and made me again realize that just because I can write in a language well doesn't mean I can order well at a restaurant. (I still don't know what I ate one time. Some strange spongy seafood.)

 

Avila! (Cute little walled city in Spain. Pretty heavily into Santa Teresa.)

Less literally, I explored my sexuality (hey! dating a guy who turned out to be a trans-girl! I get so many queer points for that, even if we look straight together). My first time holding hands or kissing in public. My first time being introduced a someone's girlfriend. And other firsts that are perhaps a bit too personal to be shared on this blog.

I also did a lot of spiritual exploring this year. I've never been big on having personal philosophies. Mine could probably be summed up as "be a good person, because someday you're going to die, and I want to be remembered with love and not vague distaste," and I never saw much reason to elaborate beyond that, because it kind of encompasses the majority of situations. However, being with Jack, who lives in her head way more than any other person I've ever met, forced me to elaborate a bit more. Basically, I don't believe in a higher power. I think that nature, in itself, is a beautiful and intricate enough system to be sufficient. I believe in love, and being positive, and creating a genuine and loving space in the world. And I relate to the world largely through my body, not despite it, because my body is a beautiful splendid thing and I see no reason to deride it or ignore it. And that's it, essentially.

4. Write at least one piece that I am satisfied with each month.

I managed to do this during the school year, because I was in writing classes, but over the summer I didn't write anything. I was too busy writing essays for Spain. (I wrote over 60 pages of Spanish for that trip. It was kind of a lot.) However, I definitely wrote over 12 pieces that I'm proud of, so I'm calling it an overall success.

5. Jello wrestling. (Also a decent substitute: mechanical bull riding.)

Guys, I tried. I really did. But getting enough of the special jello wrestling jello was too expensive, and I just don't know where they have a mechanical bull. I guess I'll just have to find a bunch of people willing to chip in on the jello. Maybe this year.


6. Get one more piercing, at least.

I did, indeed. I have two lobe piercings and a cartilage piercing at this point, with vague plans for more. My cartilage piercing has finally healed completely, which is nice. They said it would take a year, and I was all, psh, sure, but no. It really did take a year to heal all the way. You can comment with piercing suggestions, because I am undecided on my next one. It may be a tattoo instead of a piercing.


7. Make an effort to have healthier relationships with my family and hometown.

I wrote a bit about this previously, but I did make an effort this year, and mostly it worked. My hometown is always going to trigger memories and feelings that I don't want, but each visit I'm more distant from it, I'm older and have more experience between me and the town, and it feels just fine. I wouldn't want to stay for longer than a week, but it's not bad.

Besides, where else can I find a sassy sea shell monocle?

My relationship with my mom and sister are good, and I visited my dad over the summer and felt the best about that relationship that I have since I was sixteen. It helps that I'm older.


8. Get rid of the last of my fear-based tics.

I'm not entirely sure this is possible. I'm far less anxious than I used to be. I don't instinctively punch behind myself when I'm startled. (Instead it's more of a squeak and a raising of my arms into fists in front of me, but hey, it's a bit cute and no one gets punched.) I'm okay with people tucking the tag in on my shirt without my knowing. I stopped doing a lot of my control tics, like washing my hands too much and holding my breath and I'm much better about not hoarding my food. I think I've got most things down to an aware level, a level where I still feel safe but I don't continuously feel tense and ready to run. So that's...well, that's really good, actually.

9. Learn at least one song on guitar.

Nope!

10. Learn to talk. You know, better. To people. In general.

Another big change. One year ago, I was better than I was two years ago (two years ago I was almost exclusively silent in public, and quiet in private), but I was not what I would classify as outgoing. At the end of this year, I have, somewhat to my surprise, become almost downright friendly. Now, I doubt I'll ever be one of those extroverted types who can just strike up a conversation anytime and have tons of friends/acquaintances, but I talk. I talk. More often than not, I'm the one who starts the conversation at a party. (With one other person, not a group, but still!) I don't become catatonic with fear if I have to call the property management for a repair on my apartment, I can ask the waitress for more water. I even randomly started a conversation on the bus with a guy I met in a class three years ago. While I'll never be super gregarious, I have found in the last year that I genuinely like people and that talking to them is fun, not terrifying.


So, there you have it. 2011 was kind of an eventful year for me, even excluding all the rest of the stuff that didn't fit into my resolutions. So what about 2012, you ask?

1. Graduate with my double major with Honors.
2. Get a job.
3. Find one hobby that I do regularly that I really like.
4. Don't be so compliant.
5. Have a good time. It's our last year, right? Might as well have fun.

All the best in the 2012,
-- Jazz