Asterisk Provides Toe Much Information

I wasn’t sure what to write about today, considering there are multiple things I could be covering.

The first that comes to mind was the recent visit from my two best friends from home, Jazz and Captain Morgan, but Jazz kind of did that already with Part 1 of Jazz Consumes the World. The bear-claws she featured are from a breakfast restaurant called The Sassy Onion, which is located on the same block as my university. (Also, that picture doesn’t really do them justice. They were much larger than that.)

The second is my job, which I promise I will complain about at a later date, not because you want me to, per say, but because it’s such a great topic for complaining about.

Then there are the various buzz topics I’ve been thinking about this morning, from monkey bars to movies.
And despite all my better ideas, I’ve finally decided that I want to talk about my gross toe injury.

On Wednesday of last week, I split my toenail. And it’s disgusting.
I don’t know how it happened, and while mystery injuries are a common thing for me, this one is really puzzling.

For one, I didn’t do anything to cause this to happen. I was at the park with my friend Brad, and the next thing I know, my toe was bleeding. (Admittedly, I was wearing flip-flops, but I wear those all the time and nothing bad has ever happened.)

At first I thought I had cut myself, and then I realized that no, it wasn’t that, I had split my toenail down the middle. Then I wished that I had cut myself. That would have been preferable, because seriously, this was just plain sick. And it kinda hurt, too.

Fortunately, I knew that the best way to fix the problem was to paint the nail with clear nail polish.

Unfortunately we were at the park, so I had to walk home, squirting toe blood all over my foot, flip-flop, and—in once case—the sidewalk.

So anyway, I thought I’d solved the problem, but then on Thursday I realized that I hadn’t at all, because the damn thing split across my toe as well as down.

Long story short, I ended up losing a piece of my toenail. And OH HOLY GOD I could see the under-part of my toe, which is something that should never, ever be seen.

I covered it with a band aid, wore socks, and the toenail has grown back much, much faster than I thought possible, but the trauma from the experience cannot be undone.

Now that I’ve shared it, however, I feel a lot better. (Don’t worry, I didn’t take any pictures.)

Also, like I said, the thing is mostly healed. I wasted some time on Friday re-painting my toenails as to hide the little issue a bit more, and it turns out that bubblegum pink is a good “disgusting toe incident” cover up.

Overall, I think I learned an important lesson from the whole ordeal, and that lesson is:
Don’t split your toenail. If you do, don’t look at it.

Until next time,
~Asterisk

*For the record, I am fully aware how horrible the title for this entry is.