Jamba Juice vs. Orange Julius

It’s a little unfortunate that my first solo post on this site is going to be about smoothies, but ever since I went to Jamba Juice for the first time (that would also have been last night), smoothies are all I can think about.

Apparently there’s quite a bit of a rivalry between the patrons of the two smoothie places, as each group refuses to admit that both shops are essentially the same.

Nonetheless, now that I’ve actually been to both, I feel that I’m qualified to make an educated judgment based on my experiences.*

*I’m not actually qualified.

At Orange Julius, I usually order the 12oz Piña Colada flavor, because despite my usual refusal to spend money on it, I really, really like pineapple (coconut is cool too, but whatever). The drink itself is admittedly probably terrible for anyone who consumes it, but it’s tasty, and if I wanted something healthy I’d just drink water.

Note: I don’t want something healthy. I’m at a smoothie place.

The flavor is exactly what one would expect: pineapple with a hint of coconut. It’s sweet, refreshing, and I’m not really sure what it costs, because I haven’t actually been to an Orange Julius in about a year and a half.

(Closer research to determine the price of a Piña Colada Julius was unsuccessful, as there’s clearly no way in Hell a place like that would post their outrageous prices online. I did, however, discover that they now serve a Julius that is just pineapple flavored. I had no idea—although again, haven’t been there in a while.)

Anyway, back to the main point: I like the piña colada Julius’. It’s pretty good.

When I went to Jamba Juice, I ordered the 16oz Aloha Pineapple.

Newsflash: At Jamba Juice, they put OTHER stuff into the smoothie than just the fruit it’s named after! Whoa.

This thing had pineapple, pineapple sorbet, bananas, and strawberries in it. And it was pink! (That would be the strawberries.) But sadly, it didn’t taste like pineapple at all. So I guess in this situation, “aloha” meant “goodbye” instead of “hello.” And why would I ever order a drink called Goodbye Pineapple?!

Don’t get me wrong, Aloha Pineapple was a tasty smoothie, but it tasted like a tangy version of a strawberry banana smoothie. I couldn’t even tell there was pineapple in it. So it was a little bit of a letdown, and I think they should rename it Aloha Strawberries, Bananas, and Mystery Tang. That should solve the false advertising problem they’re having.

And so while I won’t ever say “no” to going to Jamba Juice, I’m going to continue choosing Orange Julius over the other, partly because they use more pineapple, and partly because my boyfriend has a punch card, meaning someday, if we buy ten, he’ll get a free smoothie. I like the idea of being a supportive girlfriend—and drinking half of that free smoothie.

~Asterisk